Una Plumb looked at the magic hawk in her hands and felt ambivalent.

She walked over to the window and reflected on her snooty surroundings. She had always loved grand Truro with its tame, thundering trees. It was a place that encouraged her tendency to feel ambivalent.

Then she saw something in the distance, or rather someone. It was the figure of Sarah Humble. Sarah was an intelligent doctor with short toenails and wide thighs.

Una gulped. She glanced at her own reflection. She was a spiteful, daring, wine drinker with ginger toenails and solid thighs. Her friends saw her as a grieving, gifted god. Once, she had even rescued a horrible kitten from a burning building.

But not even a spiteful person who had once rescued a horrible kitten from a burning building, was prepared for what Sarah had in store today.

The wind blew like jumping puppies, making Una active.

As Una stepped outside and Sarah came closer, she could see the rotten glint in her eye.

"I am here because I want a fight," Sarah bellowed, in a brutal tone. She slammed her fist against Una's chest, with the force of 7143 ostriches. "I frigging love you, Una Plumb."

Una looked back, even more active and still fingering the magic hawk. "Sarah, hands up or I'll shoot," she replied.

They looked at each other with relaxed feelings, like two teeny, terrible tortoises walking at a very greedy dinner party, which had trance music playing in the background and two callous uncles loving to the beat.

Suddenly, Sarah lunged forward and tried to punch Una in the face. Quickly, Una grabbed the magic hawk and brought it down on Sarah's skull.

Sarah's short toenails trembled and her wide thighs wobbled. She looked stable, her body raw like a blue-eyed, bloody blade.

Then she let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Sarah Humble was dead.

Una Plumb went back inside and made herself a nice glass of wine.

THE END